Chewing gum like a cow...

Ok, seriously, how do you not know you are doing this? What's the first thing you're taught when you learn to eat solid food? Chew with your mouth shut, asshole! Alright, maybe your mom did not call you an asshole when you were a toddler, but she should now, because you sure do chew like an asshole as an adult.
For whatever reason, none of which I can fathom, some people never grasped the whole concept of chewing normally at age one, and continue to annoy me with their chomping and snapping of chewing gum. Do you sound like a cow chewing its cud when you chew gum? Not sure? Has anyone ever given you the stink eye when they hear you chewing gum? Does anyone ever groan when they see you buying a pack? Just. Stop. You are no longer allowed to buy gum until you learn to chew like a human being.