Smoking in my general vicinity...

This is mainly a bus/LIRR issue.
First things first, smokers are assholes. Yes, I said it. Who the fuck pays $10 for a days worth of supplies that are sure to kill them? Whoever said "a fool and his money are soon parted" must have been talking about smokers.

Usually, smokers are only mildly annoying to me. Yes, I have to smell the lingering asstacular smell of smoke on you when you enter my personal space, and yes, the money I shell out to my health insurance company probably goes to treat your self-inflicted smoking related illness, but stop messing with my commute, assholes.

If I am standing in line for the bus, or have placed myself in a perfect spot to get on the LIRR, I do not want to have to move because your selfish ass decides they need one more fix...because, you know, you won't be in another smoking area for at least 25 whole minutes.
Normally, I would just move out of the way, but I am not losing my spot in line for you, nor should I have to smell like a fiend with a bad habit because you are standing near me.
Step the hell out of my personal space and smoke somewhere with no people, jerkoff.

Chewing gum like a cow...

Ok, seriously, how do you not know you are doing this? What's the first thing you're taught when you learn to eat solid food? Chew with your mouth shut, asshole! Alright, maybe your mom did not call you an asshole when you were a toddler, but she should now, because you sure do chew like an asshole as an adult.
For whatever reason, none of which I can fathom, some people never grasped the whole concept of chewing normally at age one, and continue to annoy me with their chomping and snapping of chewing gum. Do you sound like a cow chewing its cud when you chew gum? Not sure? Has anyone ever given you the stink eye when they hear you chewing gum? Does anyone ever groan when they see you buying a pack? Just. Stop. You are no longer allowed to buy gum until you learn to chew like a human being.

Listening to your music like an asshole...

I understand that the commute is long and you need to do something to occupy your time. Listening to music is a great way to kill time, I get it. You know what I do not get though? Why you purchased the Ke$ha album and feel the need to listen to it on the subway. How do I know you are listening to Ke$ha/some other shitty album? Because you are an asshole and have the volume in your headphones cranked all the way up to maximum. Yeah tough guy, you. You're going to make some major deals in that fancy suit, but that doesn't change the fact that you're listening to music that my 14 year old cousin thinks is lame.

If I have my music on and I still hear your shitty music, that is a problem. I don't care if you want to lose your hearing at age 30 by poisoning your ears with this crap, but I don't want to hear it.

A simple stink eye should alert you to the fact that you should turn that shit down, but it never does. I'd ask you to turn it down, but it would be impossible for you to hear me in your own annoying world of loud music.

Welcome to the 7th level of hell...

They say New Yorkers are some of the unfriendliest people in the world. Damn right we are.
After living in the outer boroughs my whole life and having to rely on public transportation to get around, I'm pretty sure we'd be way more pleasant if people did not piss us off on the train, bus, LIRR, ferry, PATH, and whatever other mode of transportation we need to get around.

This blog is just a forum for another disgruntled New Yorker to rant about the assholes I encounter when I use public transportation.